Our brains make us who we are,
Mine is now different,
A complex organ degraded by injury.
Most days I feel inefficient,
A Land Rover engine, insufficient,
For an armoured vehicle.
Reduced capacity to drive,
With the power and speed,
I used to, I want to, I feel, I need.
Enforced change in cognition, behaviour, personality,
I have changed but how to explain the difficulty,
Obvious to me but not you?
Thirty-nine years of personal development stubbed out,
Like the post-firefight cigarettes we smoked about,
No longer can I serve to lead,
Although I plead,
Just to see again, the person I grew to be.
Waking up a different person,
Altered for the rest of your life.
How do you deal with it?
With sadness, strife,
My life has changed irrevocably,
A challenge so unexpected,
One that I am not sure I can win,
Though one I have to face.